My 24th Year

On May 1, I turned 24 years old. Birthdays always lead people down a road of reflection, nostalgia, (sometimes) tears, and hope for a brighter future. In all honesty, 2020 was a very difficult year for me--just like it was for millions of other people. While in quarantine I didn't invent anything, write a whole album, lose weight (in fact I probably gained 10 pounds), or learn a new skill. I look back now with regrets about all of the times I lounged on the couch but I think I felt stuck both literally and emotionally.

Although I am grateful for being able to work from home since the pandemic forced so many people to become jobless, I have had a difficult time becoming motivated to make progress in my career. In addition, my social skills have been severely diminished due to not seeing friends or family. My husband and I went to Malibu for my birthday, and as he sat next to me on the beach, I reflected on the last year and what I wanted to fix about myself for year 24. I finally accepted that I can't keep comparing myself to other people my age. I know women my age who already have two children, women who already have their dream jobs, and other women still living in their hometown sleeping in their childhood room. All of these levels of accomplishment are okay, and by comparing myself to the people I know, I am only left with doubt about my own life path.

As cliche as it is to say, I am grateful for what I do have. I have a great husband and live in a beautiful place, and I am able to have opportunities other women may not have because of where I live. I know so many other women who cry every year on their birthday, worried that they didn't meet the goals they set for themselves the year before. Worried that they won't find a partner, travel, have kids before it's "too late", or just find their way professionally. I have empathy and compassion for everyone else going through the birthday blues, so why shouldn't I feel that for myself too?

If I look on the bright side of 2020 and what Covid brought to us, I can see that through pain and worldwide depressive episodes it was a wake-up call. For many of us, it helped us find what we really want in life. Personally, it led me to start writing and reading again, and realize what I like to do in my spare time. For anyone else worrying about becoming older and not being where they thought they'd be 5 years ago, you aren't alone! What we see on TV and on social media shouldn't skew our own life focus and goals. Look to be happy, content, have compassion for other, and keep going. Though it's easier to give advice than take it, I will be making that my mantra this year.